I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
