your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
