I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
