You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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