you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
