Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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