Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
wow bdsm is so cute
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize