I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
