What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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