I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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