We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
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he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
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Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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