I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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