Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
