Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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