Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
