Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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