I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
what day is it and did you see me today?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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