Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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