you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
