The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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