So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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