i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck