I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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