Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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