Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
