Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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