I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
