Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
