ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Watching her eat just hurts me
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
