to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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