Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Non-Jews are for practice
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
