I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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