he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
