she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
