Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
