There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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