yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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