Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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