I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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