I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I got inside last night via doggy door
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
