im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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