Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize