I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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