why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
