would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
God, I missed his penis.
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