Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
