Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
