I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
