Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
