i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
my being single is dangerous.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
