Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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