I got her a Nickelback box set.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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