Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
