4 words: hood of his car
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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