big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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