There is no way he is gay with that hair.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
