i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
