You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Ketchup is God's man juice
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
