I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
