we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
